Today, On A Very Special Episode...
One of the things about crazy shit happening around you is that you stop to examine your life. I used to hate doing that in high school because I always ended up disappointed. In high school I used to think my life was so very boring. I just wanted something to happen. Once I left high school, stuff started happening. It wasn't anything that would go on in the O.C. but it was stuff that happened. Now I am in my third year of college and I look back on these last couple of years and I realize that nothing has really changed. The stuff that happened in college is the same stuff that happened in high school. I always just hang out with friends, had a drink or five, had some laughs, and went home. But since high school ended, I have been less disappointed with that life. And now with some real crazy shit going down (look at my last post if you don't know what I'm talking about), I don't want anything more than that. I just want to hang out, have some drinks, have some laughs, and go home.

The big problem was that I grew up on television (in that television raised me not that I was on television) and television showed me that my life was supposed to be exciting with all sorts of mad cap adventures. Think about it. They make television shows so that people will watch them. One of the things they do to make people watch them is make the main character someone the audience can identify with. Zack Morris, for example, had something that everyone could identify with. Even though I was always more like a Screech, I identified with Zack Morris' laziness in school and ability to get by with very little work. And every episode Zack Morris got into some crazy adventure that was resolved in a couple of days. And in the end Zack Morris got the girl (in case you're wondering the girl is not what this post is about but its an example). Almost everyone can identify with Zack Morris in one way or another.

But not everyone can be the main character of a TV show. Not everyone is going to have adventures that they can resolve in a couple of days. And not everyone is going to get the girl. That's the way life is. And you know what? I am completely fine with that. To have an adventure you need complications. Complications lead to stress. Stress lead to seizures. Do you see how I am thinking now? I don't want stress. I want to lead my life with a my few friends, a few drinks, and a few laughs. Look at your life. If you have all of these, then you really can't be asking for too much more. I have this and if there's anything else I need, I'm sure the good Lord will provide.

Note
I'm just going to say this straight out because it is hard for even me to find any sarcastic humor in this. Yesterday, while my brother, some friends, and I were eating in the cafeteria, my brother had a seizure. I can't describe how much fear I felt at this moment but it is the most I have ever felt. I still can't think about the way he looked at the time without cringing. I froze. Fortunately, there was a woman there who knew what to do. She immediately took charge of the situation and helped him out. We called an ambulance and he was taken to the local hospital where he was given a variety of tests. There was nothing physically wrong with him and they found no physical reason for him to have a seizure at this time. The doctors attributed it to stress and lack of sleep. And basically as of now my brother is fine.
Now, when something like that happened, it is very hard to believe in coincidence. I used to flip flop in whether I believed that God existed. During my times of doubt I would attribute supposed miracles to coincidence. But right now it is very hard to believe that the woman who helped just happened to be sitting right there and that she just happened to know what to do. As I picture the way she was holding my brother and relaxing him, it is very hard to picture her as anything other than an angel. I know it sounds corny or dumb but I think I might have seen the hand of God at work. I guess I'm saying that I believe again. I don't know how the rediscovery of my beliefs are going to change me but it is like a security blanket to know that God exists and that he cares. I know it sounds dumb and I would have dismissed it before but it's just what I believe right now.

Still Alive....Barely
Its been a good week and a half since I last checked in with the couple of you who read this. This past weekend was an especially good weekend. Not crazy good but good nonetheless. I spent the weekend with the family. Mom, Grandma, and Sis came up to visit with my brother and me. We ended up spending most of the weekend in Corpus where we ate at Olive Garden last night. Today my mom took us shopping at the mall where my brother, my sister, and I actually hung out. I've never hung out at the mall with my sister like that before but it seems she's growing up to be a pretty cool person. Its especially funny when my brother or I piss her off and she says "You bastard!" cause we taught her that. And then when my mom got lost on the way to Corpus and we passed by the same stupid factory for the fifth time she is the one to say "Lets bomb it." I was so proud at that moment. Anyway after hanging out at the mall we ate at Hooters. Hooters is a weird place to go eat with your mom and grandmother. The food is not good enough to overcome the awkwardness. Not that it didn't stop my shifty eyes but what can I say? Its hard not to look when there are breasts and asses hanging everywhere. The food sucked but our waitress was cute. Anyway before they left they made sure that our fridge was stocked with all kinds of food, some of it homemade. I love my mommy.

In Health News
From the people who brought you this story, comes this story. For those of you too lazy to click on the links, the first story says that masturbation prevents prostate cancer. The second story states that women can prevent breast cancer by giving oral sex to men. Now before you get thoughts of selflessly allowing your girlfriend to give you a BJ, it turns out that the story is a hoax. Sorry people but according to the guy who created the webpage there is no connection between fellatio and breast cancer. Not yet. I hope to be conducting research soon. Any volunteers? Didn't think so. Oh Well. The masturbation story is true so I can still continue helping to prevent prostate cancer in myself. Woo hoo!

I Believe That If You Ignore The Existence Of A Problem Then It Won't Exist But For The Rest Of You...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness month. So you should really start feeling up your breasts or have a willing volunteer feel them up for you. Not just girls, though. According to the pretty girl who gave me the pretty pink pin I wore today, 25% of men are affected by breast cancer so I guess you guys out there should feel up your breasts too or someone else's breasts and have them return the favor. Do what you want. Next month, though, I guess you can go back to being unaware of breast cancer. Unless you find something, though, then I guess you won't be able to be unaware...um, yeah.

On A Lighter Note
Its almost my birthday awareness month. Or as I like to call it "Christmas in November". I guess that joke isn't as funny as it would be if my birthday was in September but you get the idea. I'm going to try to stretch my birthday celebrations to a pretty long time since there are a good number of people who I have to celebrate with and at least 3 cities to celebrate it in. Let's not forget about Thanksgiving which always felt like a birthday party for me once I stopped having family birthday parties. I don't really know why my family celebrates thanksgiving seeing how my parents were Mexican citizens and residents when we started celebrating it but at some point after I was born an American citizen we started celebrating it and goddamit I have become addicted to turkey.

Based On Exit Polls I Am Officially Making This Projection....The Country Is Going To Hell!!!
I could never believe that people would actually vote for Arnold. When I thought of who would vote for Arnold I thought of myself. I thought of myself going into the poll and coming out laughing cause I actually voted for Arnold. I would be laughing about what a stupid thing I just did. Now I fear for this country, because that means there are more people like me than I thought. As dumb as people like me are, though, I have to believe that those who seriously voted for Arnold are even dumber. I mean for the first weeks of his campaign he refused to talk about the issues with anything other than a quote from one of his movies. Then he would only go on a televised debate that had the questions sent to him ahead of time. This tells me that he may not be smart but he has smart people working for him. Maybe this is enough for some of you out there who vote for governor and president but it is not cool with me. I am starting to see the genius of the rigged elections of Mexico.

And You Were There, And You, And You Were There Toto
I had a weird dream last night. It was one of those dreams that seems to be populated by everyone you have ever met. I was in a class with everyone and I did not have the homework. I then copied the homework from someone who I used to work with and then I was being a smartass to the teacher about why my homework looked exactly the same as hers. But like I said the weird part was that the class was populated by people I've met. It even had that kid from elementary school who moved after 5th grade.

Weird Things I Thought About This Past Weekend
My brother and I took this test. Turns out I am 24% gay. The average for men is 39% gay. I guess that might be something to be proud of. I don't know. My brother and I were thinking about who would we be like if we were gay. He says he would be like Jack from Will and Grace. I can see that about him. I joke with him that he has gone out with a girl simply because the only thing they had in common was that they both liked him. I would like to say that if I was gay I'd be one of the guys from Queer Eye For The Straight Guy (I can be trendy if I try). But probably if I was gay I'd be like my high school drama teacher: obviously gay but still very conservative. Anyway this train of thought has gone on far enough. Feel free to think about who you would be if you were gay. If you females out there want to try you should think about who you would be if you were a gay guy. There's not that many lesbian personalities out there which is something that should be looked at. There should be more lesbians on television.

War All Of The Time
This is just an awesome CD. Its a darker and more aggressive album and it does seem like Thursday's whole start stop thing they do is more structured. It seems less melodic though but some parts of songs are still catchy. I find myself singing "we are coming to the capitol" along with them during "Between Rapture and Rapture". They still do the political songs like they did in previous albums. They also have the songs where it might be political or might be personal like the title track "War All The Time". My favorite song on the album is "Division St.". Anyway this is a really good CD and you should check it out if you are into that type of thing.

School Of Rock
I saw this Jack Black movie this weekend. It was a very good movie. I thought it was very funny. It references a lot of old rock bands that you will instantly recognize if you have ever been into old rock bands.

Just So You Know
The Nobel prizes are being announced this week. I thought you might want to know. Mr. Feeney always said that we should know who wins.

Crazy Like A Fox
This is the Gollum-like conversation that I had with myself after re-reading my previous post a couple of days (and many hours of sleep) later. I cleaned up the language a little and fix the sentence structure a bit because this whole thing is to practice my writing but it is almost word for word because sometimes this is the way I think.

Self 1 (yep this was a two person conversation with myself): You are pathetic. You had a bad day. Actually, you had a bad 5 hours. Anyway, you had a bad 5 hours and you resort to crying and bitching about god. (Me imitating myself in a mocking tone) Oh God, you are a dick, you are an asshole you laugh at me blah blah blah. Seriously, you are pathetic.

Self 2: Why do I care how I cursed out God? It's not like I have been a very faithful servant or whatever and most of the time I don't even know whether he exists or not.

Self 1: First of all, you directed that at something. It might of have been God or it might have been fate or whatever, but you bitched and cursed at something. Second of all, its not just that you bitched at God. Its that your day wasn't even that bad. Sure you found out that you owe some money and that you were dropped from an important class because you owed that money. Then you lost your wallet. Thats three bad things that happened to you. There are people dying of AIDS and Cancer....

Self 2: Oh thats an easy way to win this argument. Bring up all the people who have it worse off than me. Thats not fair. How am I supposed to argue with that.

Self 1: Well the fact is there are people who had worse days than you.

Self 2: Fine but they can bitch too. I'm not taking that away from them.

Self 1: But for some reason you thought yourself special enough that you had to bitch at God. You know better than that. You know that if there is a God he doesn't give a fuck what you have to say. You were raised Catholic for God's sakes. Thats one of the main teaching points.

Self 2: Fine. Is that it?

Self 1: You are also pathetic. That whole statement is just you wallowing in your own self pity. Even worse you allowed other people to wallow in it too by posting it online. Be proud of yourself, man. I thought you had moved on from that whole wallowing thing after high school. You are supposed to be the kind of guy who takes the shit that gets thrown at him and moves on. Don't stand there tasting it and describing to yourself how shitty it is. At least not while sober. You should have shrugged it off and enjoyed the weekend. That turned out pretty good after all.

Self 2: Well I did shrug it off eventually. I did enjoy the weekend.

Self 1: But you still wrote this post. And people still saw it. And you and I are too proud to just take it down.

Self 2: Doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure at least one person has seen it already anyway. But am I not allowed to pity myself a little bit? That was the second time I lost my wallet in less than a year. Last time it was because I was stupid enough to take it in with me to the Ataris/Further concert. That was stupid.

Self 1: I'll give you that. We are stupid. So stupid that we eventually found the wallet this weekend at the most obvious place. But you didn't even think about that place before writing your stupid little rant.

Self 2: First of all, it was not the most obvious place. We have lost out wallet only to find it in the opposite butt-cheek pocket. Other than that you are right. That was pretty pathetic.

END

Just wanted to share that with you so that you could know that I think that last post was as pathetic as you probably do. The only thing I have to figure out now is: which one is the evil one?

Until Next Post, Same Pathetic-time, Same Pathetic-Website
I did finally get my Thursday album along with that copy of the new Reggie and the Full Effect album I ordered. I will review those next time I write. Probably.