It's Only Noon And I'm Having The Day From Hell
Warning: If you are in any way offended by people talking shit about God then you should cover your virgin eyes right now.

Are you there God? Its me...

Dear God, Vishnu, Jeebus, whoever is up there,
I hope you are sitting on a heavenly couch with John Lennon and Hitler watching the replay of my day, laughing at it like its an episode of Funniest Home Videos. Maybe you even have one of those recently dead comedians up there doing funny voices like Bob Sagget used to do. I hope you are having just one huge reverberating laugh that people think is thunder. I hope so because I don't think its funny. You can't give a guy one shitty situation after another on a day when he's had one hour of sleep without him snapping. It's just not cool. I understand that I am the cause of my own problems. I have never expected you or anyone else to fix them for me either. Hell, half the time i don't even know whether you exist. But if you do exist, the least you could do is delay some of the repercussions of my mistakes so that they don't happen on the day I feel like laying my legs in front of a moving steam roller to take my mind off the pain in my head. Thats the least you could do, you bastard.
What I don't understand is: why can't I be the guy who drops his wallet and some nice person behind him sees it and tells him that he dropped his wallet. Why can't I be that guy? Why am I the guy who drops his wallet somewhere, can't figure when it was the last time he had it with him, and he never sees it again? Why am I that guy? In fact, why have I been that guy over and over again in my life? Can you answer me that? No you can't. Because whoever you are, if you are at all, you are a powerfull all-knowing god who doesn't have to explain himself to little shits like me. Well laugh it up. I'll see you up there someday then maybe we can have a little chat and you can explain to me what it all meant.

"Sometimes I feel like God is teasing me just like he teased Moses in the desert."